


Strip Tease

by graysonsflight



Category: DCU (Comics), Young Justice
Genre: Bromance, DC Marriage Week, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:24:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graysonsflight/pseuds/graysonsflight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy makes the mistake of telling Jason that he and Jade are going to be making their marriage a bit more official.  Jason decides that this is the perfect opportunity to raise just a little bit of hell – the kind of hell Roy is convinced Jade is going to kill him for. - Written for Tumblr’s DG Marriage Week: Bachelor Party</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strip Tease

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really have an excuse for this. Also, I'm pretty sure Jason qualifies as a troll, but I love him. I own none of these characters, they belong to DC comics, but I'm sure if we asked them, they'd like me better anyway. At least I occasionally allow them to be happy.

            Roy was fairly certain that Jade was going to kill him.  Not just the standard stab him in his sleep kill him either.  Nope, he was pretty sure she was going to kill him dead.  Dead, dead.  He had let it slip to one person, one.  All he had to do was mention to Jason that he and Jade, that they…well…

            They were getting married.  Roy, despite his better judgment had mentioned to Jason that he and Jade were going to get married, again, and for real this time, instead of for a very, _very_ , covert mission.  Telling Jason had been a mistake.  Most things with Jason could probably be classified as a mistake.

            “Would you relax?” Jason prodded him, pushing a wad of one-dollar bills into his back pocket.  “Seriously, man.  What’s the worst that could happen?”

            Roy could think of several possibilities and all of them ended with his death, or at the very least wishing that Jade had granted him death.

            “Look, Jay,” he tried to reason.  “You don’t have to do this.  Let’s just go get a few drinks…and a….” But trying to reason with Jason Todd had rarely, if ever, done any good. For anyone.

            “Calm down,” Jason replied, steering the redhead towards the line of waiting men by the door.  “The place isn’t even fully nude.  They serve alcohol, so we can just get the drinks here.”

            _Great._ Roy thought dismally.  He was about to mix alcohol, strippers, and one very over enthusiastic borderline psychopath.  Yup, this was going to be a night he would never forget.  At least for as long as Jade let him live.

            Jason flashed a winning smile at the bouncer who waved him in with a sense of familiarity.  The man didn’t even ask for IDs.  Roy’s stomach knotted itself as tightly as it had ever been. 

            The club was crowed.  Roy had to admit, it did seem like a pretty nice place.  Sure, there were plenty of women walking around in next to nothing, but there seemed to be multiple stages, each with a different theme. Not that he was really allowed to pick where they were going.  Jason, with a hand planted firmly on his shoulder, was steering him like a horse.

            First, they made it to the bar, where Jason, who flirted horribly with the bartender, pointed out that tonight was going to be Roy’s last night as a free man.  The bartender responded by demanding that Roy take a shot, on her.  No, literally, on her.  One shot of tequila off the very pretty, very busty bartender quickly turned into three.  Roy knew better than to be strait lining tequila, but Jason, who just kept laying money down, did not see to have this same line of rational thinking.  By the end of the fifth shot, Roy remembered his problem was in assuming Jason had ever been capable of rational thought.

            Jason finally allowed Roy to stop taking shots, but only by handing him what smelled to be a suspiciously strong Jack and Coke.  With tall glasses in hand, Jason redirected them towards one of the stages.

            “I know a few of the girls here,” Jason had to practically yell.  At this particular stage, the music seemed to be louder and bassier than any of the others.  Roy was pretty sure he didn’t care that bassier wasn’t a real word.  What did it matter?  He was going to be dead tomorrow anyway.

            The girl dancing on stage was wearing a beautiful and intricately designed mask.  And only a mask.  Roy had to admit that her body was pretty beautiful too as it wound its way up and down the silver poll in the center of the stage.  He was mildly aware of Jason strategically positioning folded bills in his shirt collar and one at the fly of his pants.  Roy was choosing to ignore the fact that Jason’s hands had been anywhere near the fly of his pants.

            The music and the alcohol continued to thrum a strong buzz through Roy’s body as the very pretty, very leggy blonde girl in the mask made her way over to him.  Without hesitation, she dropped her very naked breasts into his face. Upon closer inspection, Roy realized that they were only _nearly_ naked. Her sparkly pasties were a very skinish color.

            “Well hello there,” she all but growled into his ear, her teeth scraping his skin roughly.  Roy could feel, more than hear, Jason leaning over and speaking to the woman currently positioning herself into his lap.  He felt her laughter as she ground her body into his.  He wanted to say something, to tell her that she didn’t have to do whatever it was his idiot friend had just suggested, but before he could form the coherent sentence in his mind, the girl was essentially flipped over in his lap, her mouth busy retrieving the...what appeared to be a twenty...embedded in his fly.

            Roy could feel his hands brushing against her bare legs very much without his permission.  Oh, yeah, Jade was absolutely going to kill him.  Before Roy had any more time to process the situation, the young woman had extracted her well-deserved money, and moved on to the next patron ready to have her.  He turned to Jason, who was grinning like a fool.

            “You realize that my wife is going to kill me, don’t you?” Roy asked, or at least he hopped that was what he asked.  It was what he asked in his head.

            “You’re wife will be fine,” Jason said, moving closer to his ear.  “I’d be willing to be a whole mess of money your beautiful wife isn’t going to pissed at you at all.”

            Roy felt Jason was being a little too optimistic.  He honestly couldn’t picture Jade not killing him for this.  Sure, they had had a mostly open relationship for years, and no they hadn’t really laid down a whole lot of rules, but he was fairly certain getting fondled by pretty strippers wasn’t going to be really high on the list of things he was allowed to do.

            He didn’t really notice when the music switched over signaling the entrances of a new girl to the stage.  Jason had to prod him back into attention.

            The woman, even with her elaborate mask, was stunning.  Her nimble fingers ran tempting paths down her toned body, over the green laces, teasing, pulling, and slipping it down little by little.  Roy was pretty sure he could watch those hands all night.  And when she slid her way onto the poll, holding herself in midair by only her bent legs, and sheer force of will, Roy was star struck.

            He could hear Jason laughing above the beat of the music as he continued to openly stare. The woman had already worked her bra off, her fingers now teasing at the hem of her lace panties. Roy could feel himself reacting to her, even as he tried not to.  This fact was made all the more awkward as he felt Jason’s hands on him, once again tucking lose dollar bills into the collar of his shirt, the hem of his pants, and yes, yet again, his fly.

            Roy watched, his brain muddled, as the woman made her way towards him.  He felt like she was ignoring every other man in the room.

            “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,” he head Jason sinker. He was about to yell at him when he felt the woman’s hands on his body, and her lips at his throat.  She didn’t say a word as she slowly, painfully, dragged each dollar out with her teeth.  With her lips pressed just behind his left ear, she moaned.  She moaned in such a way that had Roy standing at full attention, painfully straining against the now far too tight jeans he had on.  His brain was screaming at him, trying to tell him something that the inebriated part of him was just a little too dense to get.

            Roy bit down on his lip hard when he felt her hand reach down to retrieve the awkwardly placed dollar.

            “Ooohh,” the woman purred, her mouth still pressed to the side of his neck.  “Looks like someone is happy to see me.”  Purred.  She purred.

            “ _Fuck,”_ Roy said, not meaning at all to curse out loud.

            “Hey there, Red,” Jade whispered before sinking herself onto the floor by his feet.  From there she proceeded to slowly, one by one, remove each of the apparently seven dollar bills that Jason had managed to tuck into his pants, with her teeth.  The men around him were going nuts.

            “You…” he stammered.  He wasn’t even sure he was actually making words come out of his mouth as she scraped her nails across the curve of his hips that she had exposed.

            “Told you I knew some of the girls here,” Jason crowed, his deep laughter cutting through the music.

            “You never told me…” was basically all he could get out once Jade was again at eye level with him.  She smiled smugly from behind her mask.

            “You never asked what my side job was, Red.”

            “So…” he tried desperately to pull all of the pieces of a complete sentence together in his brain.  “So I’m not dead?” he asked finally.

            “Not this week,” she answered, before tossing him a wink and moving on to the next guest waiting their turn at the stage.

            Roy couldn’t decide if he was the luckiest man in the room, or the craziest.  But one thing he knew for sure was that he was desperately in love with the beautiful woman dancing before him, and that she was the only woman he could ever see himself spending the rest of his life with.


End file.
